Weakness and men do not interfere. With a protector / entrant rooted in their DNA, men believe their main job is strong. If external influences change the power or ability to provide and protect a person, one can experience anxiety, stress, and desperate desire to regain control.
However, since men are unlikely to share their feelings, silent anxiety affects their relationships in an invaluable way.
Man wants to solve, promote, or remove his fears, but he does not want to admit them to others. Meanwhile, your partner may feel your concern, but may not be able to set a prophet, resulting in disconnections and lack of understanding. You might think it was distant, unfaithful, uninterested or worse.
As problem solvers, men are looking for the fastest and most effective ways to solve the problem, and many think it's the best way to do it yourself.
But here is the main challenge for the dynamics of relationships: he wants to work alone and can not communicate, and your partner knows something is wrong, but he does not know what he can and can assume he has something to do. with her, even if she does not do it.
So what do people fear? These are the seven main things people are concerned about:
Do I make enough money?
Money is a big problem, but it's not just money. This is what money represents:
Own value: what it considers valuable
Perceived value: for the world, for parents, for your family, for your family of origin
Security: for him, for his family
Flexibility: a way of life, to support your family
Achievement: I and the eyes of others
Future considerations: University for children, retirement, weddings, holidays
Yes, women work and contribute to these things ... but most men will see this as their job.
How can you help: stay active in finances. Pay accounts, all accounts, together, no matter who makes that pay. Joint effort means that both will respond to the challenges / challenges, and stress will be shared. And let him know that he is proud of him. Sounds like something so little, but your pride in it means a lot.
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2. Have I fulfilled / done enough in my life?
Men often look back and ask:
What did I do in my life?
What is my heritage?
Will I remember in a certain way?
Is this what I want?
I'm happy?
Is grass on her greener somewhere else?
This self-assessment leads to wondering if they live their lives completely.
How can you help? Talk to him ... without a court. What are your aspirations in the short and long term? What does he want for himself and what needs him to do that?
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3. Will I lose my job?
His job is very important, especially in these difficult economic times. This fear causes people to focus on their work. When you pay attention, other things have no attention: family, relationship etc. It probably does not intend to do it, but he asks women to ask why he does not care or do not care.
The problem: does not want to tell you that you do not feel back because its repeated effort is not "authentic" (read: he does not think so that he is not the one who wants it).
How can you help: recognize the problem and the stress that accompanies it. Remind him that you are in the same ship. If life casts a curved ball, you will be there, with him and for him. At the same time, remind him gently that he needs balance. Jobs and money can come and go ... but you are there and there you should be your efforts too.
4. Am I old?
Men take care of their age and attractiveness. Finding gray hair, losing sight or constantly dying, and the insecurities of combinations are social pressure, self-assessment, and persistent smell.
How can you help: like you, he wants to know you're still attractive. Let me know ... and learn it.
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5. Do I Lose Your Health? Do I have cancer?
Whether it is a result of pure stuttering or invasive tests / probes, many men hate doctors until it is something that can not be avoided. At the same time, he is concerned ... he simply does not want to know.
How can you help? Remind her that if she wants to see her grandchildren to become a granddaughter, she should stay in shape and get an annual check. So do something you do together.
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